apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't think brook has ever known best
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
