i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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