there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize