Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
