i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
