OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
