how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
