she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
