I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
