a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
