I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
