dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
