Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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