i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
