wat bout pragnant strippers??
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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