i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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