I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
