i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
