found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
