i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
