I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Drunk is a universal language darling
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