Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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