Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
