grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
