we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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