I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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