Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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