Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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