You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
