But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize