he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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