Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
