just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
