you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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