you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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