quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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