the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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