We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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