when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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