You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
