I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we're making bets on your personal life
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
