no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
