I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
