I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize