At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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