Little spoons don't ask big questions
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
