She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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