is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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