margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
another moral hangover. fuck.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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