So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
