She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
