Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
