The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize