omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
