haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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