the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
