My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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