I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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