well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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