somebody snuck up and got me drunk
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize