My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
