This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
BRING THE BAGELS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
