There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
