She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
