I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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