The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
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